Your Dog Isn't Stubborn. They Might Just Be Confused.

Your Dog Isn't Stubborn. They Might Just Be Confused.

TRAINING + BEHAVIOR | SUNDAY SCHOOL · ISSUE NO. 004

Because sometimes the problem isn't who's listening. It's who's communicating.

You say, “Sit.”

Your dog looks at you.

You say it again.

Nothing.

You say it a third time, a little louder, because apparently we're negotiating now.

And somehow, this same dog can hear a cheese wrapper open from the other side of the house.

Interesting.

At this point, it's tempting to assume your dog is being stubborn. Maybe even a little disrespectful.

But before we accuse anybody of having an attitude, let's consider another possibility.

What if your dog isn't refusing to listen? What if they genuinely don't understand what you're asking in that moment?

Because knowing a command in the living room and understanding it at the park are two very different things.

And that distinction can change the way you train.

THE BIG QUESTION: Does your dog actually know what “sit” means?

Let's say you've practiced “sit” in your kitchen for two weeks.

Your dog sits beautifully.

You say the word, they sit, everybody celebrates.

Then you take them outside, ask for the exact same behavior, and suddenly it's like the two of you have never met.

What happened?

Dogs don't always generalize learned behaviors across environments the way people expect.

Your kitchen has familiar smells, predictable sounds, and very few distractions.

Outside, there's traffic, grass, birds, neighbors, other dogs, and approximately seventeen smells your dog considers more important than your training session.

So while the word hasn't changed, the situation has.

Your dog may need practice in different places before they reliably understand that “sit” means the same thing everywhere.

A command learned at home isn't automatically a command mastered everywhere.

THE FAMILY GROUP CHAT PROBLEM: Everybody's Speaking a Different Language.

Here's a situation that probably sounds familiar.

You tell your dog, “Down,” when you want them to lie on the floor.

Somebody else says, “Down,” when they want the dog to stop jumping.

Another person says, “Get down,” when the dog climbs onto the couch.

And then somebody wonders why the dog looks confused.

Well, imagine starting a new job where three managers use the same word for three completely different tasks.

You'd have questions, too.

Dogs learn through associations, repetition, consequences, and context.

If everybody in the household uses different cues or rewards different behaviors, learning can become harder.

That doesn't mean the whole family needs to become professional dog trainers.

But agreeing on a few consistent words can make a major difference.

For example:

  • Sit: Put your bottom on the floor.

  • Down: Lie down.

  • Off: Move off furniture or stop jumping onto someone.

  • Come: Move toward the person calling.

  • Wait: Pause briefly until released.

The exact words matter less than using them consistently and teaching each behavior clearly.

Because your dog shouldn't need a family meeting to figure out what everybody wants.

THE REPEAT-YOURSELF ERA: Why saying it louder usually doesn't help.

We've all done it.

“Sit.”

“Sit.”

“SIT.”

By the fourth attempt, the dog is looking at you and you're questioning every decision that led to this moment.

But repeating a cue over and over can teach a dog that the first few repetitions don't really matter.

And raising your voice doesn't automatically make the meaning clearer.

Instead, try giving the cue once in a situation where your dog has a reasonable chance of succeeding.

If they don't respond, consider what's making the task difficult.

Are they distracted?

Have they practiced the behavior in this environment?

Are they physically comfortable?

Is the reward meaningful enough for the situation?

If the answer isn't obvious, make the task easier rather than turning up the volume.

Better communication usually works better than louder communication.

ABOUT THOSE TREATS: No, You're Not Bribing Your Dog Forever.

Some people hear “reward-based training” and immediately imagine a dog who refuses to do anything without payment.

But rewards are how we help dogs understand which behaviors are worth repeating.

Food can be a particularly useful training reward because it's easy to deliver quickly and many dogs find it motivating.

The timing matters.

If your dog sits and you reward them immediately, the connection between the behavior and the reward becomes clearer.

If you wait too long, they may have already stood up, jumped, or started doing something else.

And rewards don't always have to be food.

Depending on the dog and the situation, praise, play, access to a favorite activity, or permission to go sniff something interesting can also reinforce behavior.

As a skill becomes reliable, rewards can become more varied and less predictable.

The goal isn't to carry treats in your pocket for the rest of your dog's life.

The goal is to teach your dog that listening leads to good things.

A REAL TRAINING EXERCISE: Teach “SIT” WITHOUT THE DRAMA.

Let's make this practical.

Choose a quiet room and grab a few small, dog-safe treats.

Step 1: Get your dog's attention.

Stand or sit near them in a comfortable space with minimal distractions.

Step 2: Guide the movement.

Hold a treat close to their nose and slowly move it upward and slightly back. Many dogs will naturally lower their rear into a sitting position as they follow it.

Don't force their hips down. If the movement seems uncomfortable, stop and try a different approach.

Step 3: Mark the moment.

As soon as their bottom touches the floor, say “Yes!” or use a clicker, then give the treat.

Step 4: Repeat a few times.

Keep sessions short and positive. A handful of successful repetitions is better than practicing until everybody gets frustrated.

Step 5: Add the word.

Once your dog is consistently offering the sitting behavior, begin saying “Sit” just before the movement.

Step 6: Practice somewhere slightly different.

Move to another room, then eventually a quiet outdoor area. Increase distractions gradually rather than expecting perfection at a busy park.

If your dog struggles, return to an easier version of the exercise.

And if sitting appears painful or physically difficult, don't push through it. Ask your veterinarian whether discomfort could be involved.

THE DOORBELL TEST: Your Dog Isn't Trying to Embarrass You.

Let's talk about the doorbell.

Your dog can be peacefully sleeping one second and delivering a full neighborhood announcement the next.

Barking at visitors can happen for different reasons, including excitement, alerting, fear, or frustration.

That's why training should start with understanding what's driving the behavior.

For a dog who is comfortable with visitors but becomes overly excited, you might teach them to go to a designated mat when the doorbell sounds.

Start without actual visitors.

Reward your dog for approaching and settling on the mat.

Then introduce a quiet doorbell sound at a low intensity.

Gradually practice with realistic situations, keeping the difficulty manageable.

For a fearful or reactive dog, the plan may need to focus on creating distance, reducing stress, and working with a qualified behavior professional.

The important point?

You can't solve every barking problem with the same command because not every dog is barking for the same reason.

WHAT IF YOUR DOG KNOWS BETTER AND STILL DOESN'T LISTEN?

Here's something worth considering.

Dogs aren't robots.

They get tired, distracted, overstimulated, uncomfortable, and sometimes frightened.

A behavior that was easy yesterday may be difficult today because the environment or the dog's physical or emotional state has changed.

And a sudden change in responsiveness can sometimes indicate a health issue.

If your normally responsive dog suddenly ignores familiar cues, seems disoriented, reacts differently to sound, or appears uncomfortable, don't automatically treat it as a training problem.

A veterinary evaluation may be appropriate.

For ongoing training difficulties, a qualified trainer who uses humane, reward-based methods can help identify where communication is breaking down.

The American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior recommends reward-based training approaches and advises against aversive methods that rely on pain, fear, or intimidation.

You don't need to scare your dog into listening.

You need to teach them what success looks like.

THE SUNDAY TAKEAWAY

Before you decide your dog is stubborn, ask yourself four questions.

Have I actually taught this behavior?

Not just once. Not just in one room. Consistently enough for my dog to understand it.

Am I using the same cue every time?

Or have I accidentally given one word three different meanings?

Is this environment too distracting?

Would my dog have a better chance of succeeding somewhere quieter?

Am I rewarding the behavior I want?

Or am I mostly reacting when something goes wrong?

Sometimes a training breakthrough doesn't come from changing the dog.

It comes from changing how we teach.

CLASS DISMISSED.

This week's assignment: Pick one cue your dog already knows.

Practice it for three to five minutes in a quiet space.

Reward successful responses.

Then try it in a slightly different location and notice what changes.

If your dog struggles, make the exercise easier.

No yelling. No power struggle. No repeating yourself fifteen times.

Just a little patience and a clearer conversation.

Because the next time your dog looks at you like they have absolutely no idea what you're talking about?

Maybe they're not giving you an attitude.

Maybe they're asking you to explain it better.

Sunday School by Sunday Pup. A little knowledge. A lot of puppy love.

THE READING LIST

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